Musings of a Failed Golfer: Appreciating the Excellence Level of Professional Players
Calling myself a failed professional golfer might be an overstatement. I went on a rigorous training camp but the week before Qualifying (Q) school I pulled out. various reasons have contributed to the choice of pulling out of Q school but the major one was that I got a scholarship to study for free. In South Africa (at that time), college golf is non-existent. So we do not have university golf as in the states or other parts of the world. So I hung up the clubs and left the dreams of being a professional golfer (for now). I still play regularly and when the game is hot, I can still rip the course apart. But the more I left the professional game, and the more I see friends who went to play on tour struggle, the more I began to appreciate the level of excellence the tour professionals play at. Yes, I knew from the start that they are at the peak of their game, and I was there too 10 odd years ago. I competed against some of the guys playing tour now, and some of them I beat, but playing on that level takes some commitment that people don't always know of.
To play on tour is not cheap. That is one of the other main reasons that I did not go forward with my decision. I did not have a sponsorship, I did not have a rich family member or friend that thought I'd make it on tour. That obviously should not affect the level and talent you present, but a lot of things affect a player other than his or her game. Take for example playing a Monday qualifier to make the weeks tournament. If a player needs to make the cut because he or she has money to pay or rent that is due, an extra layer of pressure is added onto him or her. In the back of your mind will be the thoughts "I need to make this qualifier" or "I need to make this cut". Rather than focus on your game, you will start to focus on a need beyond that of playing good golf. This will work on you while you play and every bad shot will feel ten times worse. You will try harder to make up for the bad shot, which will lead to more bad shots. Golf is unfortunately more mental than physical.
This takes me back to the guys who have made it on tour. There is a level of peak performance under these players that lead you to stand there and question your own aspirations to land on the tour. Yes, you have won an odd tournament here and there, and yes you consistently play under par. But to do that with the added stress and anxiety to not miss a cut or to make a qualifying round is next level. When I play a good round, I always question my decision of leaving the game (or the quest to turn professional). But then I sit and drink a beer and think to myself that the stress and pressure these guys (and girls) face to stay on tour and to make enough money to pay rent and their beneficiaries are not for everyone. To play good golf under immense pressure, being from the gaze of the crowd or your band knocking on your door for their payment, takes talent and even more talent. Playing good and consistent golf is not easy, to do that under pressure is not in everyone's arsenal. That is also a reason I left: I did not have the self-confidence that I could perform under pressure. I knew my game was there, but under that pressure, it is not easy.
For now, I am sitting on the sideline, drinking a beer and appreciating the level of excellence these players are playing at. And I console those who did not make it. It is not easy, but what a lovely sport this is.
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